Women can be famously neurotic when it comes to suspicion, particularly when it comes to snooping through a man’s belongings. E-mail, text messages, cell phone records, credit card bills; some women will utterly desecrate a man’s privacy just to assure themselves he isn’t cheating. Snooping can occur at any stage in the relationship, whether on the first overnighter or the 30th wedding anniversary. These suspicious women often feel justified in their snooping, and many are actually encouraged to do so by their girlfriends. Obviously, this kind of behavior is completely unacceptable and no man should feel obligated to tolerate such activities.
If you want to prevent an otherwise normal relationship from going downhill, it’s important that you nip this in the bud. Read on to find out if she’s snooping and how to catch her in the act.
She's snooping through your e-mail
If you suspect your woman is breaking into your e-mail or social networking accounts (such as MySpace or Facebook), there’s an easy way to find out. Set up a free e-mail account and create a saucy username like SexyLola or PrettyGirl -- we know, not the most manly, but trust us here. Don’t overdo it, though, or she’ll dismiss it as spam. Write something sexy, and make it as personal as you can. Give it a flirty subject heading and send it to your main e-mail address (the one you suspect she's snooping in). If she’s been snooping around, you’re pretty much guaranteed to see that e-mail dangling in front of your nose by nightfall.
Snooping savvy: Make sure you save the passwords to the faux account; you’ll need to prove your innocence or she’ll never believe you!
She's snooping through your wallet
A clever cheat isn’t going to use his credit card to purchase lingerie for his mistress; he’s going to pay with cash. He’s going to do the same for hotel rooms and other expenses. The only evidence from such expenditures would be ATM and transaction receipts, which some men forget to trash. If she's snooping, she'll be looking for these, as well as for business cards and photos of other women. She’ll check your wallet while you’re in the shower or distracted by the big game on TV. To catch her in the act, create a fake note from a fake woman with a fake phone number and stuff it in your wallet -- don't hide it too well; she's going to be in a rush. If she’s snooping, you’ll see that note again by half time, guaranteed.
Snooping savvy: Don’t make up a random phone number, as it could easily belong to someone. Your best bet is to use the number of local pay phone; she’ll be feeling pretty foolish by the time she verifies it.
She's snooping through your mail
Credit card statements, stock reports, bank records, and phone bills are all standard snooping fare for the nosy girlfriend or wife. She’ll want to see who you’ve been calling, who’s been calling you, what you’ve been buying, and how much money you’ve got in the bank. You should keep these records stored where she can’t access them, but if you think she’s breaking into your filing cabinet, there’s an easy way to be sure. Remove your documents and place them somewhere she can’t find them, then fill the drawer with hardcore porn mags and a few fetish toys for the full effect. If she’s snooping, she’ll be too freaked by the discovery not to ask what you’ve been up to.
Snooping savvy: Don’t include any mags or toys that might thoroughly disgust or scare her. You want to catch her off guard and force the questions, not freak her out to the point where she tells everyone you know how much of a pervert you really are.
She's snooping around your office
If a true snoop considers any of your colleagues to be competition, she’ll find a way to check your office for any signs of dirty deeds. She’ll be looking for photos, love letters and small gifts from naughty coworkers who can't keep their paws off you. She may even send you out for coffee so she can check your e-mail while you’re gone. If you want to catch her in the act, buy a kinky gift and a small card. Write the card out to your woman and be sure to include words like "inappropriate" and "snooping." Leave the envelope blank, seal it and tape it to the gift. Be sure to place everything in a top-level drawer where she’ll be sure to see it. When she demands to know whom you’ve bought it for, let her read the card and find out for herself.
Snooping savvy: Make sure the gift is something you won’t be embarrassed by if someone else happens to see it first. Edible panties, for example, would probably be less humiliating than a giant dildo.
She's snooping through your laundry.
Nothing is sacred when it comes to a snooping woman and her suspicions. Paranoid women will check your tighty whities for any sign you may have had sex with someone else, and some will even get a second opinion from their girlfriends! She’ll be checking your pockets for phone numbers, business cards and condoms. She’ll also be sniffing your clothes for any hint of perfume. This is difficult to catch in the act without accidentally incriminating yourself, but you can still put a stop to it. Handwrite a note asking her why she feels the need to snoop through your laundry, and stuff it into your jeans pocket. If she’s snooping, she’ll find it, and chances are that will likely be the last time she does it.
Snooping savvy: Don’t try to catch her by spraying perfume on your clothes or smearing lipstick on your collar; these will make you look guilty to the point that your explanations will fall on deaf ears.
She's snooping in your car
Cheating men will often meet their mistresses on their lunch break or take them on business trips. Your girlfriend will take this into account when she's snooping for evidence of affairs and other sordid behaviors. She’ll offer to clean your car for you, but in reality, she just wants to check your glove compartment, ashtray and trunk. She may even sneak out to the garage while you’re sleeping to check under the seats for discarded condom wrappers or lost tubes of lipstick. Buy a romantic card, write it out to your woman, seal the envelope, address it to "the sexiest woman on earth," and leave it in your car. If she’s snooping, she’ll be compelled to either show it to you or open it herself. Either way, you’ll have caught her in the act.
Snooping savvy: Stick it under your seat or somewhere she wouldn’t legitimately be expected to see it the next time she’s in your car. If she finds it in your glove compartment while looking for a map, that doesn’t necessarily constitute snooping.
leaving snooping to the dogsSnooping is a stunning fact of life for many women, and a shocking number of them have no qualms about doing it. Equally shocking is the number of men who fall victim to this behavior without even realizing it. Your privacy is yours. Your woman does not have the right to intrude without your express permission. If she’s snooping, you need to make it clear that future infringements will not be tolerated. Use these tips to catch her in the act and dissuade her from continuing -- after you take these steps, it’s unlikely she’ll invade your privacy again.