The discomfort you may encounter during first time anal sex could be minimum or very intense depending on how relaxed you are. That's where I find the first key to enjoyable anal sex is...relaxation. The more relaxed you are more relaxed your muscles will be which will allow for the proper insertion of a toy, finger or penis with little discomfort.
One of the things that I suggest is to spend some time before having anal "warming up" by this I mean doing some relaxing breathing exercises, meditating if need be and getting comfortable with your partner.
Once you are relaxed and feel ready, get out the lube (silicone works best as it requires less re-applying and is the slipperiest product on the market) and apply a large amount...not just on the outside of your anus but use a finger to insert some in your anus as well. This will allow for easier penetration and once inserted much less friction. When I say alot I mean A LOT! don't be stingy, unlike the vagina the anus does not self lubricate, so the more you apply the better.
After you have added the lube, add a finger and just a finger. The anus has a very tight opening and trying to insert a penis can be shocking to the system, causing you to tense up, creating a painful experience rather then a enjoyable one. By using a finger you prep the body, stretch the muscles and allow the receiver to get used to the feeling. Once the finger is inserted, have your partner leave it there for about a minute or so. Dont have them thrust or move it around...just insert it and leave it. This will allow you and your body to get used to the feeling and relax the muscles.
When you feel your ready you can slowly remove the finger and move on to either a toy or the real deal. Start slow at first with the thrusting and if it makes it easier for you...do it doggy style. Have your partner on their knees staying as still as they can. Then you take control and back up onto it. This may make it easier for you to "take it" as your the one determining how far it gets inserted and at what speed. The human body is a very amazing thing and it's quite astounding how much it will endure when you put your mind to it.
Finally, be gentle and go slow. I know that we all see the ladies of porn taking it like champs, but they are "trained professionals". Its what they do for a living and have been doing for quite some time (in most cases anyways). You unfortunately are not a porn star and anyone who believes you can take a pounding the first time is grandly mistaken. So take your time, get used to it, and go slow and sooner then you think you'll be able to get down and dirty like a pro.
**One more thing, never, NEVER, NEVER! go from back to front. By this I mean going from anus to vagina, doing this can lead to vaginal infections like bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection.
As for the websites these were the ones that I read and either intrigued me or had something good to offer...
http://www.tangomag.com/20085225/a-girls-guide-to-anal-sex.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_2218072_have-anal-sex-beginners-tutorial.html
http://sexycloset.com/articles/6/Anal-Sex-for-.html
The products I would suggest:
*A very good quality silicone lubricant. Silicone is very slippery, compatible with latex and requires very little reapplying which is something needed for anal sex.
*Condoms, I always stress safe sex even with anal play, you may not be able to get pregnant from anal but you can get an STD. Not to mention that if you have your fill (no pun intended) with anal sex and want to go to having vaginal, its easier to just take the condom off put on a new one then to have your partner stop, go bathe his penis, put on a condom and start over again.
Its my goal to make sex a safe, fun and enjoyable experience for everyone. Hopefully this little message has helped in some way to allow you to become more comfortable and knowledgeable in the area of anal sex and some of the things you may encounter as a beginner.
